Past, Present, or Future Therapy: Do You Have to Choose?

The past, present and future aren't separate paths—they are different sections of the very same bridge, guiding you towards a more authentic tomorrow.

When we think about starting therapy, it might be easy to get caught up in the mechanics of how it will look. You might find yourself wondering: Should I choose a therapy that focuses purely on unpacking my childhood and history? Do I need something that focuses on how I feel right now today? Or should it look firmly ahead at my future goals?

There can be a common misconception that therapy is a choice between rigid, conflicting paths. We might assume that we must either spend all our time looking backwards to figure out how we got here, or focus mechanically on action plans, goals, and strategies for tomorrow.

The truth is much more liberating. The past, the present, and the future are not separate boxes. They are different dimensions of the very same map—you. Instead of forcing therapy into a single box, an integrative approach blends them all together—recognising that exploring the past, acknowledging the present and shaping the future have their place and are simply different ways of shining the same light.

Meeting You Where You Are

In the therapeutic world, there is no single, universally "superior" direction. The direction therapy takes should never be dictated by a rigid textbook; it should simply meet you exactly where you are today, and follow where you need to go, individualising care based on your needs rather than getting locked into just one way of looking at time (Talmon, 2012).

Think of therapy as a searchlight, where we decide together where we need to shine the light to help you find your way forward. For instance, think of how your needs might shift on any given day:

• On one morning, your primary, overwhelming need might just be for someone to sit with you, witness your pain, and offer a safe, deeply empathetic space where you feel truly heard and understood. Having your present experiences gently reflected back to you and truly witnessed is often exactly what is needed most (Yapko, 2001), serving also as a reassuring, necessary foundation before you can even begin to think about the future (Yalom & Rubin, 2003).

• On another morning, you might notice yourself reacting to a situation in a way that feels frustratingly familiar—perhaps falling into an old habit of people-pleasing or pulling away from connection. On this day, our searchlight might shine to your past to explore your early experiences and relationships. We do this not to stay lost in the past but to understand our inner stories and where our values have come from, so we can compassionately understand why they were once necessary and to then help you write a new story.

• And on a different morning, you might wake up feeling a desire to map out a small, practical strategy to help you break free from those habits thought cycles that no longer serve you. When built upon the foundation of a strong, trusting relationship, focusing on forward-thinking goals and tools can be incredibly effective for lifting a heavy fog, offering a motivating, hopeful alternative to simply looking for the root causes of your pain (Yapko, 2001).

This integrated approach recognises that psychological safety, trust and being understood are more significant than immediate behavioural change, serving as the essential building blocks for growth (Gottlieb, 2019). We cannot safely build a sturdy bridge to the future if we haven't first grounded ourselves in the safety of the present, sometimes using the keys we unearthed from the past.

Why the "Goal-Setting" Pressure Can Sometimes Backfire

We live in a culture obsessed with self-improvement, five-year plans, and measurable outcomes. But when you are stuck in survival mode, in a heavy rut, or dealing with complex emotions, being asked to look into the future can feel incredibly daunting.

Not all clients readily embrace hope, future goals, or the risks that come with change when starting therapy (Snyder et al., 2006). In fact, if a therapist pushes a strong future focus too soon, it can be completely misaligned with your present state (Yalom & Rubin, 2003). Defining change as a rigid goal right away can sometimes be unhelpful or unnecessary, given that the therapeutic relationship itself is what underpins the essence of healing and change (Rogers, 1967).

Sometimes, the most profound therapeutic movement happens when we take the pressure off entirely. It is completely okay to enter therapy and say, "I don’t know what I need or what I want my future to look like. Right now, it just feels blank or overwhelming". Trusting that uncertainty is a valid, necessary part of your journey. In fact, simply noticing that you feel stuck, or wondering whether you want to move forward, means you are already on the path to change.

A Flexible, Tailored Approach

Your life, your struggles and your goals are entirely unique to you. Because of that, therapy should be flexible and shaped completely around your life and your needs, honouring your self-agency and capacity for self-determination (Cooper, 2021).

There is a time to look back to understand the origin of your internal narrative, a time to sit quietly in the present to witness your feelings without judgment, and a time to shine a light further down the path—using that hard-won safety as a springboard to step forward into growth, realign with your true values and shape an authentic tomorrow.

You don’t have to choose a single time zone for your healing or change. Together, we hold space for all three, navigating the bridge at a pace that feels entirely safe, secure and manageable for you.

Further Reading & References:

• Gottlieb, L. (2019) Maybe You Should Talk To Someone. London: Scribe Publications.

• Cooper, M. (2021) Non-Directivity: Therapeutic and Meta-Therapeutic Perspectives. Available from: https://mick-cooper.squarespace.com/new-blog/2021/9/21/non-directivity-therapeutic-and-metatherapeutic-perspectives [Accessed 27 March 2025].

• Talmon, M. (2012) ‘When Less is More: Lessons From 25 Years of Attempting to Maximize the Effect of Each (and Often Only) Therapeutic Encounter’, Australia and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy, 33 (1), pp. 6-14. https://doi.org/10.1017/aft.2012.2

• Yalom, I. (2002) The Gift of Therapy: An Open Letter to a New Generation of therapists and Their Patients. London: Piatkus.

• Yalom, V. and Rubin, B. (2003) Insoo Kim Berg on Brief Solution-Focused Therapy. Available from: https://www.psychotherapy.net/interview/insoo-kim-berg [Accessed 10 January 2025].

• Yapko, M. (2001) Treating Depression With Hypnosis – Integrating Cognitive Behavioural and Strategic Approaches. Hove: Brunner-Routledge.

• Rogers, C. (1967) On Becoming a Person: A Therapist’s View of Psychotherapy, sixtieth edition. London: Robinson.

• Snyder, C. R., Michael, S. and Cheavens, J. (2006) ‘Hope as a Psychotherapeutic Foundation of Common Factors, Placebos, and Expectations’. In Hubble, M., Duncan, B., Miller, S. The Heart and Soul of Change: What Works in Therapy. Washington: American Psychological Association.